Happy Chriztmas and Merry Neues Jahre!

Wir wünschen Sie eines Gutes Weihnacht unt ein Merry New Year!

Rock On!

Kaputt Komputer part II (zwei)

It WERKS!
I soooo rule!
I fix komputer.
Keine probleme.
In my earlier attempts I happened to, amongst other, mess up xorg.conf good.
Oups.
But now I mended it.
Without having to revert to a clean install as somebody (Laszlo) recommended.
Easy peasy.
Commando Command line Cowboy.
That's me.

Man I'm good.

Zu heute I will go help friend who has
1) messed up his external HDdrive (ntfs+rw in Linux - that's hubris)
2) cannot get a video stream out to his external plasma (pitch black - I recognize, I fix)

I fix his komputer good also.
Sure will.

Stay tsuned.

Kaputt Komputer

Ok, I did ze big komputer zu hause kaputt last weekend.
By pure accident.
Promise.

Background
Well, I run Ubuntu Gutsy Gibbon, a free (as "free" in I'm a cheap-ass) Soviet-meet-Africa-ugly looking operating system. Well it is. Without some nice gui-addons it's plain horrendous!

And it doesn't play the latest games either.

Which doesn't matter because I mostly play mah jong for time beeing.
Als mein Beloved Missus.
Who do soooo pwn my sorry behind big time in the high score list.

However I use it because it is most certainly a helluva lot more secure than Vista oder WinXp.
The OS, stupid, nicht mein Missus.
Not inherently by design [nein mr Wisserbesser Niklaus it is not!] but mostly due to the fact that ze exizt nicht zu viele virusen oder trojanen.
Unt by sudo*.

The chain-of-events
The crappy OS doesn't handle resolution settings well.
I explain: The gui IS ugly and the OS sometimes just happens to get a total frisfefkoo a fucks up the resolution from time to time. Which amongst other things renders plain text practically unreadable.
So you have to manually adjust it to a resolution that works.
Which I did.
Almost.

Unfortunately, a really really unsuitable resolution was placed
d i r e c t l y above the resolution I was aiming for.
Which makes it practically unavoidable NOT to choose it.
So I choose wrong. Purely due to a crappy gui-layout for changing the settings I say.

One could wonder if choosing an unapplicable resolution should pose any kind of problem.
Well... Ja?

Cause I couldn't see frekkin shite when booting up.
Pitch black.
Which is good colour when choosing colour for suit.
But nicht als trying to log in.

(And pitch black means schwer dunkel for you germans)

And booting in [insert some frekking recovery-gui-mode] doesn't change the resolution back to something more modest which an old reliable ViewSonic of 19" can handle.
Well, not in Happy Linux Land on planet MyComputer anyway.
Go figure.

What to do?
I handled it as all computer-savvy-pros should. I ran my own default analytical Q and A thru and thru.
It goes something like this:

Revert to command line mode anno 1957? B.C?
- U bet!

Lookup support forums and wikis?
- Check.

Anybody out there stumbled on same problem?
- Mmm. Browsing...
- ...
- No.

Anybody out there with ANY kind of problem with some remotely resemblance?
- Well... Maybe. Sort of. Kinda.

Anybody that seem to have gotten some help?
- Kind of....

Is answer, help-out or "how-to" in plain english oder deutch?
- Nichts check.
- But wtf. How hard can it be? (famous last words...)

Fiddle, meddle and some command-lines later it is completely... Fried.
- Nice. Nicht.

I fix komputer good.
Sure did.
Yep.

Oh, anybody thinking the beloved Missus got a bit upset (read: ballistic) by *somebody's* feeble attempts to "mend" komputer in command-line mode?
Consider no Internet, no mail, no blogging, no mah-jong, no nothing and you get the picture already.
Me = Toasted.

I think I'll either have to do a complete reinstall (no fun) or retard revert to a non-free, non-hazzle and no-command-line-fixing-OS-what-so-ever-brand-spanking-shining-new-komputer.
Foolproof preferably. If there is one.

But with a meager budget allocated for electronics due to other priorities I'll think I have to settle for one of these goodies...


















(sudo* = japanese martial art security solution - I have black belt, of courze)

Belarus Army Babusjkas Updated for 2008

Dieses sind wierd.
Found it at belarusarmy.gov
Scary unt freichtening ja?

By the way, entschuldigung für die lack of update at dieses blögg lately. Ich habe problem mit den komputer. Radio-Internet nicht wörk als gutes als ich wünsche...

Stupid internet.

/Kebap-pen

WiFi (budget)

Jawohl! Es fungiert!
Ich habe zu WiFi-internet gemacht.
Ein speziale-solution das work über den AM-band.
Ein bit slow - 3.23 kb/minuten - aber es fungiert für mich.
Jetz könnte ich updatieren das blögg in ze livingroom oder in toilet if Ich want to.
Sehr gut!

Ein bisschen instable but was den fcuk - Ich say als Arnold Schwarzenegger:
It werks!

Me = Internetoverradioninja!

Zantas little helper

Actung achtung!
Hier ist warum die kinder nicht will get keine presänten dieses Weinacht.

Zantas ist am Urlaub unt habe ein Little Helper mit ein Umbrella zu fokuzieren am.

Nicht manipulert. Nein. Danke Paparazzi!

Hier wohne Zanta Klaus

Zanta wohne im die rotes hause auf der rechte seite.
Könntet sie vergessen wer das ist?
Nicht Romaniemi oder Kanada.

Der paintung nicht manipulert.

Soon I will publish an Exclusive Action-Foto auf Zantas little helper.
Stay tzuned!

Kinder unt Katzen...

Inflatable Boat + Wasser + Cat = N i c h t Gutes Idea.

That cute little cat is gonna be sooo traumatized.
Really.

Stupid kids.

Must be germans.

Die Palatze auf den Presidänt of Finland! Mit kranke kühe. Famous fotografieren.

Yes - hier ist ein foto auf den präsidentepaltze im Finland!

I took foto at the same time als den crazy-kühe-sickness had spread from filthy Engländ!

And guess what - I happend to catch the crazy-kranke-kühe am den foto.

Die bild hat im Helsinkiin Saanomat been published. Ach you maybe have seen before yes?

Ekivokísche oder Provokísche?

A horrendous argument has raged all over the world the last couple of weeks.
In essence it's all about how much of the female body that could be exposed to others without the onlookers taking offence.

Most of the public think that women who want to take a swim in the public bath/bathhouse/at the beach top-less should be able to do so. If the beach are for nudists, say like all the public baths/beaches in Croatia and Germany, heck - we have to live with both ugly men and women shoving of their private parts if we like to have a swim or day off at the beach. Thats why no normal tourist go to Croatia oder Germany for summer holiday. Filthy Germans.
Oops, I'm rambling. It's true though...

But I think we all can agree on a middle aged woman, shoving off the rat to neighbours while hangin' out the laundry to dry gives most normal people nausea...

I came up with simple function that should sort this out:

If N (nude, skin) --> N (nausea, puke) then <> Ok
else GoTo home.

But's all in the eye of the beholder, isn't it?

Cristmas Story mit Zagorka-Zanta

Jawohl - jetz ist es soon Weihnachten (christmos) unt hier ist ein true story about Zanta Clause!

Once upon a time Ich habe zagorka-zanta in foto caught.
It was a late cooold abende and I saw him in eine schöne rote radenhause mit weisse knüten in die northe of europe. (Nicht Jukkasjärvi oder Arktis)

I walked over to him in deep awe and filled with joy - when I saw that Zanta himself was ein bit happy in die luva.
He said he had made some traditional Irish Coffee für Mutter Zanta unt geschmeckt den ingridienzen.

"Du have to accept that you will get ein bisschen rote nase if you want to make the Perfect Irish Coffe...", Zanta said.

"Aber most previous christmas I trick estupido Rudolf, the big raindeer, geschmeckt die ingridienzen. But he became so darn happy and always sing dirty songs so I had to stop pronto because he waked all the children up before chrismas day."

The Ende!



(This year I will get nice prezente für Zanta Clause aus MümsProduktz A.S.)

No need for driving license nein?

Ein dunkel papparazzi has caught Zagorka-Sune bicycling with his very vunderschmart vehicle!

Keine need für driving license if nicht got auto nein?

Sehr wise Zaggo...
Nicht.

Meine schöne Merzedes auto im background ja.




/Kebap-Pen

Sehr Schön Blümschen Plümschen!

Hier kommt mehr schnacks für die fräuleinen!

Der Baden Baden-Man!

Könntet es wesen der same man als im die hinter foto - oder vielleicht ein andres modelle?

Ein ledung: Er ist nicht auf deutschland. Nicht Bulgy. Northern Europe ja. Liebe baden.

Der foto ist manipulert.
Ein bisschen softglow unt some magick unt arbeit mit die lagern (sehr viel lagern... Ach doch, schwehr arbeit.)






Könnte du gefinden der zagorka-flasche als im den photo is gehidden?

Unt genau ein seksy mann für die fraüleinen!

Hier ist ein sehr seksy mann für alle fraüleinen!

Die foto ist ein bisschen manipuliert im Gimp zu machen den kensel auf midsommer nacht drömmen.

Die model kommt aus Helsinkland, Schweden unt habe gehlest:
"How to Pose like This"

Seeehr gutes resultaten ja?

HOT BULGARIAN BABUSHKAS IN WET SHIRT SWAN-SEA COMPETITION

Damn! This is just t o o foxy!

Manchester City - Crazy Super Ireland

Good News: Team mate of the greate Boj [Valeri Bojinov, Gorna Oriahovitza!] and Mr Petrol [Martin Petrov, Vratsa!] Stephen Ireland will escape punishment over his controversial goalscoring celebration at Eastlands against Sunderland!

As we all know the City midfielder pulled down his shorts to reveal a pair of skimpy briefs, sporting a Superman logo, after netting the goal which sealed a Barclays Premier League win over Sunderland.

When asked to comment on Ireland's Superman-style goal celebration, cool boss Sven- Goran Eriksson said:

"He is Superman. It was a super goal."

By the way - can anyone imagine mr pee-red-face Ferguson, Arsene W or Big Sour Sam Allardyce give a response like that?
Nope, me neither.
Sven-Goran (Goran? Is that croatian?) is the coolest manager in the premiership. Yup. This despite he got some serious Mr Montgomery Burns* look-alike-issues.

Sven-Goran Eriksson later admitted the Football Association may have wanted to take action against the 21-year-old, who has had his fair share of troubles already this term.

However, instead, the FA have wisely decided merely to remind Ireland of his responsibilities to the game, a move which amounts to little more than a gentle wrap on the knuckles.
(7/11 - Manchester Evening News)

Well, Man C is now back in third place (man - did anyone believe that before this season???) only two points behind Assenal unt Man Urk. Way to go blues.

*) Mr Montgomery Burns from Simpsons. U know.

Was?

Deutsche mensch könntet dieses mit festen unt party.

Es musst gewesen deutsche volk.
Oder?

Best Füssbäller...

Ze vote is finished.
You think mr Hristo Stoichkov is best füssbäller im welt. Idiots.

"[Stoitchkov] was born with a ball between his [...]"
-- Stoitchkov's mother, Penka

Well, all men are born with two - or one - ball.
But as a gesture to the majority I present you some tidbits from official site spiced with some nicht so commonly known gems:

Facts (and rumours)
Name: Hristo Stoitchkov
Age: Born in February 8, 1966 and if you do the math you see he is 31 yrs
Place of Birth: Plovdiv, Bulgaria (sehr schön)
Height: 165 pounds (fatso you say, we say well muscled)
Eye color: Brown
Nickname: Itso (japones for fatso?)
Occupation: Professional Soccer Player
Athletic position: Forward
Athletic team: Chicago Fire (Current)
Previous teams: Maritsa (Plovdiv, BG), Juri Gagarin (Plovdiv, BG) so sucki suck team, Hebar (Harmanli, BG), CSKA (Sofia, BG), Barcelona (Spain), Parma (Italy), Al- Nasar (Saudi Arabia-money), Kashiva Reysol (Japan-money)

Favorites
Actors: Arnold Schwarzenzägger, Sylvester Stallion, Antonio Bandage, Robert DeNiro
Actresses: Penelope Cruz, Julio Roberts
Bloggers: Kebap-pen, nicht ZagorkaSune
Films: Action films
Drinks: Sports drinks (Zagorka...) and energy drinks (Zagorka)
Cars: Mercedes, Lexus

But first ande foremost mr Hristo ist beste known for his modesty and capacity to be humble in all situations.

"There are two Christs… One plays for Barcelona, and the other is in heaven."
-- Hristo Stoichkov

Best Komputer in History! Ever!

Diese World Wonder from England must be the best komputer that ever was made.

Sir Sinclairs ZX Spectrum 48K - who ever hacker ninja hasn't learnt to programme on this little beauty?

Well it was basic. But who cares.

I loved the rubber-buttons.
Unfortunately the construction with the not-so-sturdy underlying touchpad gave up on certain buttons after a couple of months frenetic gaming. Anybody remember Commando? Winter Olympics? Real killers for the keyboard if you didn't have a Sidewinder or Tac2 joystick yes.

Foto modelle: Kurz Eins - Pose

Well, für alle you mensch out there that wünsch/wish to be modellen like in fantastische tv-show "Top Model Bulgaria" oder "Top Model America" - hier kommt ein gratuiz/free advice!

Read up on all literature you can find on modelling. It is really easy and takes no time. At all.
In fact there is only one book out there* - "How to Pose Like This".

In the book/büche - just follow the instructions from page one to the last (actually, the last page is page 4 - which covers how to be a page three girl/man).
And strike a pose.
As the saying goes.

The dude in the foto is reading the book (dare I say the modellers Bible?) and man does he look like he got a black belt in posing!
















*(Well, there is a helluvalot of magz and ragz out there, but those we will cover in next kurz - Foto Modelle: Kurz Zwei - The Looki Looki)

Ehhh... No?

Something is quite fcuked up in that program.

Somebody has done a real fuster-cluck with the face-recognition code.

Me thinks.

Golden Sands Beach -07

Tourism is good say prime-minister of Bulgy.

I say - nicht all of the time.
Damn you.





What is the odds of the happy whale being english?

Yup. That proves me wrong.

Señor Presidente Dubaya Bush isn't an idiot.

He's probably just an old traditional dumb-ass.
And quite fun. And scary.

Que?

Was ist this?
Toilet for Athletes? (Well that probably excludes 97% of german lard-asses)
"Sit-and-shit"-sign?

Registration Plates für Dummies

You don't need to be Sherlock to figure out something fishy is going on here...

Erfundet: Departure Desk Dog in Dublin

Well, maybe nicht in Dublin.
But in Riga Aeroport.

His Master (female rat) were uglier and worked by the departure desk. Aggreszive little beast.

Sehr dangerous sports II [dart]

Ouch!
Dart ist die welten der meiste gefährliche sport.

Sehr dangerous sports I [kuh jump]

Aber! Sehr verrückte bulgarische soldäten.
Er könnt der kugeln krosst auf den kuh (hörse?) in ein moment.

Nicht versucht diese zu hause junge!

Schtüpid.

Bulgaria in Europeische Meisterschaft!

There has been some reports in newspapers about russian bad-bottom hooligans - they're really really really son-of-a-female-dog-evil-doers-bad - and that Europe will be trashed to pieces when football championship start if Russki play in play off.

But Bulgarian hooligan is bad too. And they already travel around all of Europe because so many awsome player play in best team already. Martin Petrov!

I publish foto auf B3H (Bulgy Bad Boy Hooligan) as warning.


So watch out Europe.

Rappörte von Baltic State

I need urlaub. Hardwork internet bizzniz in bulgy.

I decide go Paris. Looki looki at Big Famous Eiflephant Tower.
Why do the stupid french call it Eiflephant Tower? - It really doesn't look like one does it? More like my home made zatelit antenna to watch ukrain füssball.

I find out webbsite Bulgaria Air nicht fly Paris. Only Aeroflot. I nicht never go Aeroflot. Njet. Drunk kapitainz all time and ubgly stewardesses. Brr. Not good.

So. I man of genius. I do some black belt programming internet code [google++] and see on website:
The Paris of the Baltics - Riga.
I think -Where fcuk is diz country Baltics? Probably some stupid schmuck misspell Balcans?
Some more coding... [select * from world where contrie = 'baltics' || 'riga' || or nicht drop ls data on screen\. <~this just example, I do really hard ninja coding]
Komputr come up with bleep, bleep
Baltic = region. Riga = capital in Lithuania.
Well I dig deeper in Internet code and found out more! Baltics is really three countrys, each with own capital. Go figure.
Wha'ever.

So. I go Riga. Riga is biggest and most cosmopolitan Baltic capital according to guide book. The other, Helsinki* and Tallin** sucks. I never do smaller. Or nicht cosmopolitan. Or things that sux.

Well - I summarize trip:

Keine Eiflephant Tower. But really big opera house.
Nice people. Not really like french frog eaters. That is a foppish bunch for sure. I hate foppish. Sounds gay. Frenchmen is gay.
Amazing houses. Well. Nice faćades.
Gutes shopping (Baltman!). I think.
<-- Nice pivo. Aber it is called alus oder bärs. If you ask for pivo they think u need take leak. Nicht as cheap as in Bulgy. Really frekkin expensive actually. Maybe now you ask: "But Kebap-pen, what are the bad side effects going to Riga?" Well I tell - aeropourt! Soo stupid bitch in Check-in Desk. I look on big table - "Sofia, fligh bla bla bala --> check-in desk number 19 to 23"
Well - I frequent flier so I go to correct desk. After standing in queue for hours with bad, unpolite, smelly crowd (mostly polish pungent people) I come to right desk. Very tired.

At desk little rat woman tell me, freqyent flier par excellance,
"Sir - You wrong Desk. Go next desk."

In short reply to mrs schkidmark-for-brain: "No. Look big table. Sofia - number 19-23. Correct desk. Stupid biatch", in really civilized tone.

She put up russian-looking stone face [evil bad babuschka in 1972] and point next queue. I think fcukkin Soviet all over again. No service minded. No sense of bizzniz.

And she smell of diezel.

I know for fact - don't argue with drunk official.
Especially when drunk on diezel.

So I go next queue like good citizen. And stand with apes from Albania.
But they feel like home. And eventually I got home.


So, Riga nicht Paris. Riga better!
But not their drunk airport evil desk dictators.







*) Helsinki: [eng] sinking hell
**) Tallin: [toxic] cohesive, glue - nicht sniff nein. Bad for briain. Look at Georg Michae.

Busted!

S o pwnd.

This is a real classic "priceless"

Verdammt

The bloody webb-counter fcuked up!
I change to new.

This one better I hope - we can see if we are online at same time.

If more than two persons online at same time they can use comment to like have chat room.
That is good.
Or maybe not.

Genus neutrale arbeit vordelung

Reuter report im White Russia they have tried to be more Europeische Unionen-like.

In short they try do more "genus-conformed" workload between man and woman.
Why? That is so stupid.

Everybody knows:
Fact 1) Women have a higher trözklen für schmerz (not like sissy wimps in switzerland) and therefore can wörk longer hours.
Fact 2) Women is more stubborn and don't give up easily, a woman has never ever lost a discussion for example.
Fact 3) Women is better at taking directions. No man can ask about right way/direction when lost. Never. They don't take directions. Doesn't matter which nationality. They just can't.
Fact 4) Men get more thirsty than women easily. They need more beer --> nicht gut arbeit.

We already do fair workload between man and woman in Bulgaria for really looong time already. Ja.



Hence we in EU and not retards in other backward, poor excuses for eastern countries.

Here is ein Hero.

This requires great training.
Looong time.
Don't try it yourself kids.

It is ein german friend als visit in Dublin, Enlgänd.

Autentische foto ja. Nicht manipulert.

Sehr great work Franz. (His real name is something completely different. Yes.)

You could never get diese nice shape (well - a sphere is a shape, dummkopf) auf zagorka.
Nicht enough kolhydraten.
So don't bother.

Türksiche Wünderbaum

Fahnkesch!
Die Türken sind verrückt im der kopfe.
Use a körbe als wünderbaum ist nicht zu rekommendiert. Nicht.

It will smell like donkey arse in whole auto.
I know.

Stupid türke...

Kebappen auf foto!

Hier ist Herr Kebap-pen mit er auto.
Er ist sehr schtolz auf den auto.

Er hat gehandlet für der wochen.
Fiesta auf Zago unt zwiebeln!
Und sehr ehrfürchtig bananen zur Partei an auch.

Aber nicht keine kleine gasen auf den zweibeln - hören sie auf Kebap-pen!

Don't.

One for Janosź

And this means you do what exactly?

Antworte im den comment bitte.

Wtf?!?

Alright - that's a down right distasteful costume.
Man, what a retard.

Worse, the dude doesn't even have the decency to be ashamed - look at that grin. It cannot, I repeat - cannot - be explained by the piss pivo in his hand. He's actually proud and thinks he's lookin frekkin fantastic.

"My momma made this outfit for me!"

So sad. So sad.

I could never ever wear a hat like that.
Nope.
Not in this lifetime.

Yuk!

This is so not the way to tell you are out of paper...
G'damn!









Weird, the picture got the old song "Sending out an S.O.S" by Police (???) spinning around in my head. Irritating.

Sehr schwer zu auto fahren

Kleine test - Wie fahren Sie durch diesen Zirkulation Platz???
(Antwort/facit: Ich habe zeichnen sie eine linie wie Ich fährt.)

Driving

A friend of mine, Janosź, is in practice for driving license.
He do really well mostly (very better than me, myself and I).
But yesterday little accident. Yes.
Not good to new nice german car. VW Passat.
Big Dad not happy.

Komputer Users!

Last but not least - I just had to share this one.

The Orang-utans are (from left:)
Janosź Wićhklndr, Errki und Wichtor.

Young Bill G

The man is a genius.
You could already tell this when he was just a kid.
Yep. Those glasses are real nerd-goin'-places-glasses.
A bit wild as well obviously.
How many gazillionaires can show of a mug-shot like this.

Damn - what did he do?
Hack "Hot Chicks with Moustache r Us"?

Nice try

The Swiss telephöne-maker Ericsson has also tried to make nice Zune.
They failed.

Of Course.

Ugly isn't it?

New Zune 2 released

Best music/vid-player from great Microsoft -
ze Zune2 i released!
Well, actually it will be released in november.
In US of A.
It come to Europe in may.
2009.
Come to Bulgaria in 2013.
Perhaps.
Fcuk.

Bald wochende...

Jawohl. Bald wochende.

Bitte.

Es hat eine wirklich wirklich lange Woche gewesen. Ja.

The Zen Way of Dealing with Annoying Old Neighbour Farts?

Hehe, this is taking the art of mooning to a completely new level!

The old dude doesn't look to overly pleased now does he?

Man it grows funnier every second...

Karate-Kolleague

Yup, this is a colleague of mine.

I certainly don't want to publish his name - you can call him "Mike J" - because he don't want to show off his deadly skills on internet.

Anyhow. MJ plays Pung Fu and is really dangerous.
He master The Testicle Tao in five days and have black tie - third dan!

This year he also won fighting contest for Geriatrics. That is so awesome!
[Btw, wtf is geriatrics? He refuses to tell.]

In background you can see project we work on - it is internet programming for secret Cisco IPa-phone software [where IPa = It Phails, always].

IPa. Haha that funny. We sell it to Cisco and do shitload of money in support consulting. You'll see.